Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Nollywood: Memorable On-Screen Couples

Saint Obi and Hilda Dokubo
If there’s anything movies have taught us, it’s that nothing strengthens true love like seemingly inevitable death. In Zeb Ejiro’s “Goodbye Tomorrow”, Hilda Dokubo played an HIV positive woman who had to battle her deteriorating health as well as societal stigma. She found a shoulder to lean on in Saint Obi. Lots of crying and lots of “don’t give up” moments abound.

Richard Mofe Damijo and Stella Damasus 
In Charles Novia’s “The Bridesmaid”,  serial maid of honor, Stella Damasus found her Mr. Right in RMD, after numerous disappointments.  Sure, he was her best friend (Kate Henshaw)’s man in the first place, and she kind of stole him, but hey, when the going get’s tough, the tough get going abi? All that matters is, they were a perfect fit and the bridesmaid-for-life finally became a bride.
From...



To...


Muna Obiekwe and Genevieve Nnaji
For some reason, these two have chemistry. Weird, but life is full of such inexplicabilities. In “ Blood for Tears”,  Genny was involved in multiple  makeout sessions with Muna. Now we all know, in Nollywood, after you kiss one or two times, you can hug till kingdom come if you want to.  I struggle to remember Genny locking lips as many times in one movie with any of her more illustrious onscreen love interests as she did with Muna.


Chidi Mokeme and Genevieve Nnaji


Tope Idowu and Ofuafo Otomewo
From Tade Ogidan’s “Hostages”, we have this simple tale of love. Poor boy falls for rich girl. Rich girl papa no gree. Boy and Girl elope. Police catch them; jail boy, return girl to papa. Boy breaks out of jail, sneaks into rich man’s house to reclaim love of his life…simple tale of love.

Desmond Elliot and Stephanie Okereke
These two have been paired together to good effect several times, most notably in "Efficacy" and "Wicked Intentions".

Ramsey Nouah and Omotola Jalade Ekeinde
What would a nollywood romance-themed list be without a Ramsey Nouah mention? In Nigeria, when we think of loverboys we think of Ramsey first. In “Private Storm”, Ramsey and Omotola share that Ike and Tina, special kind of love. Ramsey’s character grew up watching his mother suffer abuse from his step father, and so, that kind of messed him up for life. When his loving side did manage to override his abusive side, it was [sarcasm]heartwarming stuff[/sarcasm].

As per this scene, I’m not gonna say anything about the over zealous standing fan, hidden in the corner, that tried to blow Omotola’s weave off.
Richard Mofe Damijo and Ego Boyo
After watching these two love and hate each other week in, week out as Segun Kadiri and Ann Haastrup on Amaka Igwe’s soap, “Checkmate”, it was no surprise when they turned in quality performances as a couple in  “Violated”.

Fred Amata and Omotola Jalade Ekeinde
Again proving that staring death in the face makes you love harder, we have Fred Amata and Omotola from the sickle-cell anaemia awareness movie, “Mortal Inheritance”. This was in the good old days, when you hadn’t truly loved in a Nollywood movie, until you had gone horseriding together on the beach…

Richard Mofe Damijo and Genevieve Nnaji
He chased her in “Criticial Decision”, they were husband and wife In “Darkest Night”, but it was in “Keeping Faith” that RMD and Genny really nailed it. From the initial shakara to the honeymoon phase to the serious falling out to the reunion; a movie romance well executed.

Honorable mention:
Ramsey Nouah and Genevieve Nnaji, Emeka Ike and Dolly Unachukwu (disqualified due to incest i.e, "Deadly Affair"), Majid Michel and Nse Ikpe Etim, Mike Ezuruonye and Mercy Johnson

Monday, March 28, 2011

Toasting with Tonie





You usually don't talk to strangers, but it was somebody you saw denge posing on his boot with a rabbit that you saw to talk to? Ode



Sunday, March 27, 2011

Nollywood: Dress To Kill

Muna Obiekwe in "Blackberry Babes"
I have sent an urgent message to John Travolta notifying him that one Mr Muna Obiekwe broke into his wardrobe and stole his disco suit from 1977.

Watch as Muna adjusts himself at the end of the clip, probably thinking "I'm looking too sweet! muah!". Bad guy! I no know whether na silk dem take sew the suit, see as the ting just dey shine.























Desmond Elliot in "Extreme Measures"
Desmond is a serial offender. On and off screen. He particularly favours loud, high-collar shirts...on and off screen. Here's an example of typical Desmond garb.


Kanayo.O.Kanayo in "Billionaire's Club"
The don himself! The inimitable K.O.K! Nobody has worn nonsense, as much as K.O.K, in the history of moviemaking. Behold an example:


Anayo Modestus Onyekwere; the pride of Mbaise! To see more of K.O.K decked in his best, check out "Total Control", in which he wore the full rainbow assortment of suits.

Baba Suwe in "Baba JaiyeJaiye 2"
Unlike the previous entries, Baba Suwe actually dresses for comedic effect, and it works for him most of the time.

I can't explain the hair. Swagga your ginja! Baba Suwe is a legend! ..highly foolish, but a legend nonetheless.

Omotola in "Games Women Play"
This one is not about just the outfit itself, but a combination of the outfit and the wearer. They don't call her Omosexy for nothing...


Mercy Johnson in "White Gold Sellers" and "Clash of Twins"
Mercy J. Say what you will about her face, but the body is on point. So many to choose from...


Who watches this stuff?

I watch Nigerian movies. I do. Why? because they amuse me. Drama, Romance, Thriller, Horror, Action, they all make me laugh. The "acting" amuses me, the costumes amuse me, the ENGRISH...kills me. Now, I know there are some of you that are too disgusted by the poor overall quality of these productions to allow yourself to be amused. You see 5 minutes of a Nigerian movie and wonder "do people watch this stuff and actually take these movies seriously?"

The answer to that question: "well! They do o...they do!"

You might be wondering what caliber of viewership allows marketers and producers to continue to churn out this stuff. Allow me to refer you to a youtube comment on one of the reigning Nollywood movies:
Its going to take Nigerians awhile to accept not all movies are suppose to be factual. Its started with Ghana movies not making everything so believable and they got crucified for it. Now people are going to have to realise not every movie to suppose to be all true events. Theres something called non-fiction. So shine your eyes and dont be close minded folks.
...and so, there you have it. Some people were casting aspersions on the character of the movie. This noble fan set them straight by telling them not to take all these movies too seriously. Some are supposed to be non-factual...playful. Like NON-FICTION.. For those who don't know, fiction=non factual. So, non-fiction=non non-factual which would then come around to mean factual. Therefore, the commenter should have written "like fiction". That comment got 16 'likes' on youtube last time I checked. Misuse of English apart, I don't know why we are supposed to excuse mediocre acting and production, because the storylines are fictitious. That argument makes no sense to me. But, it makes sense to many a nollywood fan.

So next time you're vexing about Naija movies, remember, they are not made for you. There is a target audience, and that audience is very satisfied with the quality of the product. As for me myself, I shall continue to be amused.

Monday, March 21, 2011

The Smiling Doctor

May God not allow me to encounter this kind of doctor. Pesin wife die, doctor dey laugh?!



Sunday, February 27, 2011

RMD's SPECIAL PHONE + LAGOS BOY IS BACK!

Front or back, it works either way!






The Return of 'Lagos Boy'...


In October 2009, PDP chieftain, Olabode George, popularly known as Lagos Boy, was convicted along with four others on 63 counts of conspiracy,disobedience to lawful order, abuse of office and illegal awards of contracts worth 84 billion Naira while he was chairman of the National Ports Authority. That is say, the old man stole from Nigeria. He was sentenced to a two year jail term.




On Saturday, February 26 2011, Lagos Boy was released. A massive crowd cheered as he stepped out of Kirikiri and joined a convoy that carried him to the Cathedral Church of Christ for a thanksgiving service.



Among top politicians present at the church service were Otunba Gbenga Daniel, Ogun State governor; former President Olusegun Obasanjo; Mr. Ayo Fayose, former Ekiti State governor; Defence Minister, Prince Adetokunbo Kayode; the Minister of the Environment, John Odeh. 
At exactly 2:45 pm, Bode  George arrived his No. 18a, Luggard avenue residence in a black Toyota Land Cruiser SUV. George, who was accompanied by his wife Roli, was welcomed by party leaders and supporters. Dignitaries who thronged the Luggard Avenue residence of the PDP chieftain include: former governor of Ondo State, Dr Olusegun Agagu; former deputy governor of  Osun State, Chief Olusola Obada; Senator Florence Ita-Giwa; Chief Mrs Remi Adikwu Bakare; chairman of PDP in Lagos State, Mr Setonji Koshoedeo; Dr Ade Dosumu and Chief Deji Doherty. Banners, posters and T-Shirts had inscriptions such as: “You are welcome our amiable leader”, “Team Solution welcomes our great leader,” “The journey of a thousand miles can only be walked by giants”,“You are indeed a giant and courageous man,” “The Joseph of our time and Welcome back Uncle BG.” Also, to add colour to the party, the women wing adorned themselves in different attires just as band groups and musicians played to the enjoyment of those present.
"Authority people them go dey stealPublic contribute plenty money/ Authority man no dey pickpocket/ Armed robber him need gun/ Authority man him need pen/ Authority man in charge of money/ Him no need gun, him need pen/ Pen get power gun no get/ If gun steal eighty thousand naira/ Pen go steal two billion naira/ Thief, thief, thief!" -Fela


"Poor man wey tief Maggi omo dem go show im face for crimefighte/ Rich man wey tief money omo we no dey see their face for crimefighter/ Rich man go dey halla pe Ah, MODUPE! Poor man go dey shout, Anwuola m ee!" -African China


Re: the bolded part, how apt, considering the thanksgiving service and all!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Yoruba Americana

"Oooh shit! I'm senseless?! Dad! She's now telling me that I didn't have a sense!"